(HEY THIS IS ANOTHER RANT BECAUSE LIFE IS FUN RIGHT NOW. ALSO, I USE THE WORD DOPPELGÄNGER A LOT. AND I LIKE BOLD AND UNDERLINES.YAY)
You know that song that talks about breaking up in a small town? Well, if you haven’t heard it, you should go and listen to it (especially if you’re from a small town, in my opinion) and have experienced something of the similar. I personally had a disgusting face the first time I listened to it because he was talking throughout the song. If it’s a song why would you talk? Yeah, I don’t know, but it’s grown on me, or maybe it’s just my delusional state from being at work for an ungodly amount of hours. Anyway, the song is basically about living in a small town and breaking up with your significant other that also lives in the same town, and how often you’ll see them blahblahblah. And if you’ve ever experienced this, you’ll know that it really fucking sucks.
Where I’ll start out is if you’ve been in this situation, not even going to college could make this different. It seems like wherever you go in the world, you’re bound to run into someone that you know…or is that just my luck? (On vacation in Alabama AND Tennessee AND Georgia, I ran into people from my small hometown. My boyfriend has also had the experience of running into someone that he knew in Europe that he went to high school with.) So with that being said, my luck would get me to run into the person that I would never want to.
In middle school I was friends with nearly everyone, and that’s not an exaggeration. I mean it’s MIDDLE SCHOOL. Your life should be carefree and full of a bunch of friends, correct? (*whisper* yes! Yes it should!) Mine was until we got a new kid eighth grade year, which wasn’t a common occurrence at my school, and everyone rushed to be friends with him—but me. He sat behind me in English and I found myself asking him questions and just being a complete bitch to him, because quite frankly I found it fun. It was “international hug day” (and that’s literally just how my class was everyday) so my friend, who was also a female, and I stood at the door of our English class and hugged every person that came in. We would switch off between people and of course it really didn’t matter in the first place since we hugged our classmates on a regular basis anyways. He (I’m just going to refer to him like this, because he’s not worth a name) came in and immediately came to me to hug me, and since it was “international hug day” I absolutely had to. Ever since that moment, it seemed like we were in Vampire Diaries and had the doppelgänger curse where we seemed to be DRAWN to each other. Coincidentally he then became best friends with my “best friends” and it was just like we were destined to be best friends, or even something more. We were in track together, so that was something ELSE that we had to do together. I had the biggest crush on a guy that didn’t know I existed and I was kind of a creepy child, and I’m not going to deny that now. I fully apologize to that man for my creepiness, and if I could do it all over again, I’d have someone slap some fucking common sense into me. Since that happened, I went home one night with whom I referred to as my ‘second mother’. That night, we established (my ‘brother’ and I) that his “friend” liked me and asked if I liked him or not. We ended up petty dating, and it ended before we became freshman. Since we seemed to have the doppelgänger curse, however, we were drawn together all. the. fcking. time! Wherever I would go, he would be there as well, and even though our petty dating didn’t lead to much (except a pity kiss), it seemed to lead to even more since we were cursed. He was my first nearly everything, except for sexual things, even though I honestly thought that he was going to be my first everything, and I honestly think that he was a little bit bitter that he wasn’t. (Losing my virginity wasn’t of my consent, but a girl that I thought was my friend decided that she would tell everyone i was a liar. I had a rough sophomore year because of this.) I stole him from several people, (WHICH I KNOW IS TERRIBLE AND THE BITCHIEST THING A PERSON COULD DO) but it seemed like I needed him, that I was drawn to him. That led a couple of girls to hate me with every bone in their body, and I definitely got death threats in the middle of the school hallway.
Fast forward throughout high school to my senior year, graduating, to project graduation. He decided to join the army and would be leaving the morning after. Needless to say, he didn’t spend project graduation with me. I had a boyfriend throughout senior year, but would’ve left him in a heartbeat for this man (doppelgänger curse, I’m telling you!) He knew this, and still refused to spend any sort of time with me that night, which led me to just want to go home and crying to my parents (who were chaperones) the entire night. AKA, not a fun night for me. He left the next morning, we didn’t say goodbye to each other, and he would write me letters. He basically (okay, not basically) he LITERALLY confessed his love for me through those letters. Yet, I chose my ‘boyfriend’ (who was also at basic training) over him, and that was his deciding point. I went to college and he came home (which I’ve established, they’re not far away) to work. We saw each other occasionally, but that year is the year we decided that even though we had the doppelgänger curse, we were going to fight it (YAYUS DAMON AND ELENA STYLE. YAYUS) but no, we never slept together, and we never had sexual relations. We would talk on-and-off, but he went to college (and this girl that had stalked him throughout high school waited for him to start college and followed him there) and joined a frat, therefore becoming the average fratdouche (that should literally be a word in the dictionary, because it’s a thing.) He’d visit me occasionally, but would never let me visit him because “She wouldn’t like it” “she” was that stalker bitch and he would complain about who she was always in his room (let me tell you it’s an even longer story if I involve her, but she’s an irrelevant pos.) We saw each other quite often that summer, and he even started acting all doppelgänger-y again. I enjoyed it, and then college started again and it all started the cycle over. We spent some of winter break together, but I worked a lot and had a new boyfriend that was one of the most perfect people ever and I know God put him in my life for a reason. He and I (no, not my boyfriend) continued our married-like doppelgänger fights, and the night before my finals (yes! I said the NIGHT BEFORE MY FINALS) he informed me that he and stalker bitch had been on and off seeing each other since September. I vomited for awhile, and then just started crying. He told me that she was a more important part in life than I, and I was basically irrelevant, but “we could still be friends.” WHAT? I felt like I had just gotten broken up with all over again. (Side note: my parents loved this man and he was basically my family. However, my mom knew we were literally toxic for each other, and my parents absolutely love my boyfriend, and did at the time.) Needless to say after that, she thought it was a good idea to follow me on Twitter. (LAWWWWLLL RIGH…) I was pissed, so yeah, I bashed her on Twitter. Publicly. Because I really didn’t give a damn shit, and I really still don’t.
OKAY, THE POINT OF THIS ENTIRE THING:::
Sam Hunt claims that you have to move to move-on. I moved, and while I sort of moved on, he was the first person that I ever loved, and we all have a special place in our hearts for our first love. My place of employment educated me that his parents got life-flighted to the University Hospital. (I attend said University, and have classes next to the hospital.) I was anxious, very anxious, that I was going to end up seeing him since obviously he’d come to see his parents. Needless to say, I didn’t. I still care about this man, but he wanted to pick someone who was a stalker and literally all she wanted was him. (She is the girl who threatened to slit my throat in high school. In front of his face.) So let bygones be bygones and let two pos’s be together, but that doesn’t stop you from not caring, and that doesn’t fit Sam Hunt’s morals because I moved. While I’ve moved on in some senses, I haven’t moved past the fact that even though the doppelgänger curse brought us together, it was the same thing that tore our friendship apart. Had we not been cursed with that, we wouldn’t have been cursed with the toxic relationship we experienced. Instead, he may have very-well been my best friend, and he might still be in my life. But everything happens for a reason. and if you break up in a small town, move. It may not immediately help you move on, but it’ll definitely help you move on from your toxic relationships, and help you become a better person because of this experiences.
(DEUCES TO THOSE POS’S BECAUSE….LYF)
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