Have you ever had someone who will treat you like a princess in the sheets, but when you get out into the streets, they treat you like Regina George was treated when all she could wear was sweatpants? It sucks. It doesn’t just simply suck, but it really sucks, and if you wanna be like Jenna Hamilton and be ballsy with your frelationship, or whatever it may be, then I ADMIRE YOU.
Awhile ago I posted about my doppelgänger and how it seemed like we were drawn to each other. Well, Mother Nature proved me right again, and we are on speaking terms. That’s right! We are on speaking terms. We went to a restaurant, publicly, which is something we often did, but something we seldom did? Events with friends/publicly. We would “go out” publicly, but at the same time, we would be going to spontaneous restaurants all the time (that partook to me gaining a shitload of weight as well — high school me should’ve ran more track.) Any time we were around friends (mutual or one-sided) it was as if we didn’t know each other.
While Awkward portrays something that isn’t real life, some parts of it are real life. I’ve mentioned my promiscuity in high school/college (because I’m a basic white girl) and let me tell you, that part where she thinks Matty is just her fuck buddy instead of her boyfriend speaks to my younger self SO MUCH. My younger self would sleep with people to feel loved, to feel welcomed. It was until I was in public with said person that I would realize our true relationship (and deny it, because I didn’t have a Tamara sitting there telling me what was wrong with me, lbr.) I think the one that took the icing on the cake was the guy that was nervous to be around me in public. Now I’m a pretty tall individual, and it just so happened that tall people don’t have a thing for me, so I’ve had to succumb my life to dating short individuals. I’ve mentioned my obsession with frat boys, and this particular guy happens to be one of those. Oops. We met on Tinder because I’m cliche. I don’t know if it’s my fault for being a horny teenager, but we slept together not long after meeting each other (because I’m a slore, yeah.) He was super nervous about everything, but our relationship was trivial. We hated and loved (lusted, for lack of better word) each other, and mostly being in each other’s pants. Until my teenager-ness wore off and realized “hey! let’s be in a relationship!” We never made anything official (bc this man was an assfuck) but he would never want to be seen anywhere in public with me. He would never hug me goodbye, and would always drive across campus to see me, even though I walked to his house all. the. time. The final time we were “in public” together, he couldn’t even hug me because there was a woman in the car in front of us and “he was worried what she would think.” Granted, I looked like I was his fucking mom, but THAT DOES NOT MATTER. The point of this, is now he has a pilot license and that magically makes him sexy? and I’m confused at what the point of this blog post even is.
My doppelgänger and I talking has got me in weird moods, especially since I figured out that he’s being deployed soon. The funny part about that? The last time he was gone for a remote amount of time (basic training, bc that takes 4evr) he basically confessed his love to me. I don’t mean basically, actually, because he literally admitted it later on after I wasn’t smart enough to realize it. I’m in a relationship, yes, and I love that individual as well, but I do love my doppelgänger, too. As much as the other? Probably not at all, no, but I do still have love for him, and I just don’t want that to happen again.
Because you’ll always fall for the guy that wants you in private vs. the guy that wants you all over in public.
Friday, June 5, 2015
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
Keep Your Tape Clean
To the individual that has called me a “slut” and other choice words,
We used to be the best of friends. I take that back because I don’t remember that much of our friendship. I thought I did, but I really didn’t. All I remember was talking a lot more than I’d talk to any other person, and you being a genuine person that the world deserved more of than just the rare few. I understand that everyone changes throughout the course of life, even throughout the course of a year, but you, sir, have changed more than anyone ever thought you would.
I am not going to say that I was the most perfect person in high school, or even in life in general, but everyone makes mistakes, and as you get older, you grow into maturity. You grow into your “big kid” job, and learn your life lessons from that and building a family of your own, so if you choose, along the way. The generation I was born into has kind of fucked this up, though. I graduated with around 50 people, and out of those people, eleven of us are still in school. I am not stating that college makes you a smarter or better person, but I’m stating this fact because everyone in my graduating class had the plan to pursue, and was enrolled in, college. The other 48 of those students I graduated with, dropped out of college, and don’t necessarily have jobs, but might have kids, be married, or both. That’s what I’m getting at when I’m saying that this generation is weird. It’s weird because we don’t have a path for our lives, but we’re going to add another little life into that screwed up life, making that little life feel the wrath of.
MOVING ON…
In high school, I had to buy Plan B for an individual because they weren’t old enough. They were sixteen, and would not tell me who it was for, but were really anxious about it. It turns out this person was fourteen, and had just turned fourteen not long before this incident. This person acted way too much like an adult, as this person was calling people names and claiming that they were the Virgin Mary a month prior.
If you flash forward a couple of years, you’d find out that this particular individual has a child from a spontaneous one night stand. This particular one night stand, happened to be someone that I had hooked up with in the past. Therefore, this particular individual that decided to call me a slut and choice names — you’ve technically slept with me.
It’s all about keeping your tape clean. I’ll be the first to admit, my tape definitely is not the cleanest as I was into ‘bad boys’ in high school to get revenge on my high school sweetheart, and was into frat boys in college. Keeping your tape clean is metaphoric for how many people you’ve slept with. If you put it into perspective:
Your partner has slept with 10 people before they slept with you, and you lost your virginity to them. Therefore, you’re sharing sexual juices with those 10 people, as well as ANYONE they’ve had sex with prior to your partners altercation with them.
So say Sally loses her virginity to Sammy. Sammy had sex with Silvia, Samantha, and Sarah. Silvia had previously had sex with Sergio prior to Sammy, as well as Seth. Samantha and Sarah both had sex with Sean and Slade. THEREFORE, since Sally is having sex with Sammy and Sammy had sex with Silvia, Samantha, AND Sarah, and those three had sex with other people: Sally has shared sexual ‘juices’ with Sarah, Samantha, Silvia, Sergio, Sean, and Slade, instead of just the one person she thought she was having sex with.
While I do not like putting this into perspective (due to my own personal issues), it’s a realistic issue. Since I’ve “technically” shared sexual juices with this man, does that mean that he’s technically a slut and all those names as well? Because it should. It shouldn’t be something to judge people on, because people get judged every day, yes, but people should not get judged on things, only to find out that you’re CONNECTED to a person in a way that you cannot get rid of and you cannot take back. Putting this into a greater perspective, I would hope, puts teens in a position to realize what they’re doing when they’re younger actually has consequences. I didn’t think much as a teenager, but I sure hope that as a “semi-adult,” I can change some people’s lives from becoming the oblivion of bullying that some have plundered into
TL;DR
You shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover until you know at least SOME of the story that is inside of it, because you could share more than just history with someone.
We used to be the best of friends. I take that back because I don’t remember that much of our friendship. I thought I did, but I really didn’t. All I remember was talking a lot more than I’d talk to any other person, and you being a genuine person that the world deserved more of than just the rare few. I understand that everyone changes throughout the course of life, even throughout the course of a year, but you, sir, have changed more than anyone ever thought you would.
I am not going to say that I was the most perfect person in high school, or even in life in general, but everyone makes mistakes, and as you get older, you grow into maturity. You grow into your “big kid” job, and learn your life lessons from that and building a family of your own, so if you choose, along the way. The generation I was born into has kind of fucked this up, though. I graduated with around 50 people, and out of those people, eleven of us are still in school. I am not stating that college makes you a smarter or better person, but I’m stating this fact because everyone in my graduating class had the plan to pursue, and was enrolled in, college. The other 48 of those students I graduated with, dropped out of college, and don’t necessarily have jobs, but might have kids, be married, or both. That’s what I’m getting at when I’m saying that this generation is weird. It’s weird because we don’t have a path for our lives, but we’re going to add another little life into that screwed up life, making that little life feel the wrath of.
MOVING ON…
In high school, I had to buy Plan B for an individual because they weren’t old enough. They were sixteen, and would not tell me who it was for, but were really anxious about it. It turns out this person was fourteen, and had just turned fourteen not long before this incident. This person acted way too much like an adult, as this person was calling people names and claiming that they were the Virgin Mary a month prior.
If you flash forward a couple of years, you’d find out that this particular individual has a child from a spontaneous one night stand. This particular one night stand, happened to be someone that I had hooked up with in the past. Therefore, this particular individual that decided to call me a slut and choice names — you’ve technically slept with me.
It’s all about keeping your tape clean. I’ll be the first to admit, my tape definitely is not the cleanest as I was into ‘bad boys’ in high school to get revenge on my high school sweetheart, and was into frat boys in college. Keeping your tape clean is metaphoric for how many people you’ve slept with. If you put it into perspective:
Your partner has slept with 10 people before they slept with you, and you lost your virginity to them. Therefore, you’re sharing sexual juices with those 10 people, as well as ANYONE they’ve had sex with prior to your partners altercation with them.
So say Sally loses her virginity to Sammy. Sammy had sex with Silvia, Samantha, and Sarah. Silvia had previously had sex with Sergio prior to Sammy, as well as Seth. Samantha and Sarah both had sex with Sean and Slade. THEREFORE, since Sally is having sex with Sammy and Sammy had sex with Silvia, Samantha, AND Sarah, and those three had sex with other people: Sally has shared sexual ‘juices’ with Sarah, Samantha, Silvia, Sergio, Sean, and Slade, instead of just the one person she thought she was having sex with.
While I do not like putting this into perspective (due to my own personal issues), it’s a realistic issue. Since I’ve “technically” shared sexual juices with this man, does that mean that he’s technically a slut and all those names as well? Because it should. It shouldn’t be something to judge people on, because people get judged every day, yes, but people should not get judged on things, only to find out that you’re CONNECTED to a person in a way that you cannot get rid of and you cannot take back. Putting this into a greater perspective, I would hope, puts teens in a position to realize what they’re doing when they’re younger actually has consequences. I didn’t think much as a teenager, but I sure hope that as a “semi-adult,” I can change some people’s lives from becoming the oblivion of bullying that some have plundered into
TL;DR
You shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover until you know at least SOME of the story that is inside of it, because you could share more than just history with someone.
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