As I’ve mentioned before, I work at a daycare. “Out of the mouths of babes” is something that we commonly use because let’s be honest: little kids say the damnedest things. Yesterday, however, was different. I totally didn’t expect something to come out of a child’s mouth, nor did I expect it to not only piss me off, but give me some hope of the future.
The daycare that I work at has ages 2-6. Six because some little boy was developmentally behind due to some hospitalizations, and two because apparently they’re being ballsy and letting in children who just turned two a couple of days prior. I am usually in the class (because it’s separated by classes) that is 2-3, and there are a couple of 4 year olds. The 5 year olds that have a 6 year old in their class are a bit different. They’re different because they’re (obviously) so much more mature than the little kids that I’m used to, and I’m only around them for an hour or so if they end up showing up in the afternoon.
Usually I come straight from class or don’t really care about my appearance when I go to work. I work at a daycare, for christsakes, I’m not going to show up wearing glamorized clothing every single day. I have worn jeans there twice because I just can’t move around in the pairs of jeans that I have like I would like to. Usually I show up in leggings or something of the sort, and whether or not I “put myself together” just really depends on how I’m feeling that morning.
Yesterday, we were outside on the playground, though. This little girl that I rarely talk to (because I hardly ever see her) came up to me and told me that I’m beautiful every day, but only from “this point to this point” as she pointed out to places on her body. She pointed to everywhere but her face, and at first I thought that she was talking about my size since I’m not the tiniest person in the world. Then I had to think to myself, though, because most little children will never comment on your size if they actually know what they’re talking about. Especially if their parents are embarrassed easily, are bigger themselves, or are just correct parents. I say this because one of my nephews has a bastard of a dad who likes to poke fun at the fact that my sister is a bigger woman. He tells my nephew that “he doesn’t want him to be fat” and “his girlfriends aren’t fat” (*SPOILER ALERT* his girlfriends aren’t fat because they’re on drugs and have 6 kids that they don’t have custody of because they were born with cocaine in their system. bUT ANYWAY.) My point is that I’ve never had a small child comment on anyone’s weight (at least when I’m around) except for my nephew whose dad is a bastard.
Moving on. I was trying to process what this little girl was saying. Finally she spits out “makeup doesn’t make you pretty.” The look on my face was that I was kind of astonished, mostly because a five year old is telling me that I don’t need makeup to be pretty. I sincerely appreciate these parents for teaching this to their children, because I feel that most individuals aren’t teaching this to their children and are teaching them that they need makeup to be pretty and they need to do this to be society’s version of “pretty.” I sincerely appreciate those parents who aren’t teaching this to their children because they’re going to grow up to be something someday. They’re not going to grow up being the little bastards that my nephew has grown up to be (right now he’s only 8, but it’s getting worse as time goes on) and they’re going to be those polite children that tell you you’re beautiful, and telling you the things that you want to hear.
What I tried to explain to this little girl, however, is something that she didn’t understand. While I fully believe that “makeup doesn’t make you pretty,” there are other things that do, which is what this little girl fully showed, but that’s not the point I’m trying to make.
Some people feel extremely uncomfortable if they’re not wearing makeup. I used to go to a counselor and she informed me that some people that were married, their husbands had never seen them without makeup because they would get up and just keep putting it on, and never really take it off.
I started wearing makeup when I was maybe 13/14. I didn’t wear a whole lot of makeup, but my mom finally decided to let me start wearing makeup because I would break out so much. I washed my face, but my face never seemed to agree with the fact that I didn’t want to break out so much. I only wore Clinique foundation and powder (because that’s what my mom wore) and maybe some eyeliner and mascara. Any time I wouldn’t wear makeup to school (or eye makeup rather) I would get asked “why do you look tired, are you sad, are you mad?” I thought these were just hits at me not wearing makeup for the day, but lord only knows what they were. In high school, I wore makeup more regularly with some days that I wouldn’t. Senior year I got stressed out enough with working two jobs, taking college classes along with my high school ones, and having an emotionally abusing boyfriend that demanded I be at his beck and call any time he needed. One of my friends, who I had had a relationship with in the past and was the first person I fell in love with, told me that he would like me if I “tried more.” He told me that I didn’t put myself together enough for him to like, and that he didn’t know how I could go out into public like that.
I ignored that hit at me because he was a douche bag. Freshman year of college, a whole new world came to me. I discovered YouTube, more specifically the beauty side of YouTube. I really don’t remember how, at this point, but I did, and I started spending a wide variety of money on makeup. I became a platinum member at ULTA within three months, and I just thought I was rolling high. I became a YouTube Partner, and enjoyed the different types of looks I could do from using makeup. Even though I’ve probably spend $5,000 on makeup in my entire life, I use every single bit of the makeup that I have, or I bless someone else with it. It’s the right thing to do. I also have extremely oily skin, which is why I broke out a lot in high school. I’ve finally found a regimen that works for me (that involves not washing my face very much because it’s very sensitive. Therefore, if I don’t wear makeup, I start to breakout. If I don’t wear anything on my face, my face will build up to be this entire grease ball and be a breeding ground for acne. i’ll wear makeup most days, but there are several days that I won’t—just not in a row because I’d rather not be a breeding ground.
What this little girl didn’t understand, and what I hope her parents eventually teach her, is that people have hobbies. I firmly believe that makeup is a hobby, and I hope that some parents eventually teach their kids that. I also hope that they don’t teach their kids to sort of slut-shame people that DO wear makeup. I appreciate parents teaching their children that you don’t need makeup to think you’re pretty, but they need to be taught just that; not, if someone weasr makeup, they’re automatically thinking as not thinking you’re pretty & need makeup and need to be told so.
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