35 Things I've Learned Working at a Daycare.

I’ve worked retail for 4 1/2 years. Out of those 4 1/2 years, I worked a variety of retail: food/drink, clothing, specific clothing, along with different brands and selling other miscellaneous things that don’t have to deal with food or clothing. Those years completely made me respect people, but hate people as well. If you’ve ever worked retail, you probably feel the exact same way (unless you’re just a die hard retail worker who isn’t affected by what people say.) 

When I started college, I vowed that i would never work another retail job again. This wasn’t super realistic, however, since in college you have little to no time to do anything. Every office-y type job I would try to get was nearly impossible, so I started another retail job. This job made me absolutely hate retail environments. It wasn’t the absolute kicker, but it sure pushed my buttons more than any of my other retail jobs had (and at one of them, my boss’ nickname for me was “little bitch," to say the least.) I had a boss that absolutely loathed me, and would show it. They would keep me there longer than what I was supposed to because the schedule was messed up and they wouldn’t have anyone there (not my fault.) Thankfully, our store manager was saintly, and she made things better. 

I started working an office-y job after this, but came to an ultimatum of having to do school projects or work my expected hours a week. This was a hugeeee struggle last semester as i “didn’t want to work retail,” so I got a job at a daycare fairly close to campus that someone in my cohort worked at. 

Working at a daycare has taught me SO much, which is what the point of this article actually is. Working at a daycare through college can be strenuous, rewarding, exciting, and annoying all at the same time. Here are 35 things I learned working at a daycare through college:

1.     You’ll be extremely uncomfortable your first couple of days. Weeks. Maybe even months.

2.     You’re going to have a parent criticizing your every move.

3.     Cursing around children is a no (obviously.)

4.     So when that child decides to be a little asshole, you have to contain yourself to not scream at them.

5.     Children’s clothes may not fit or they’ll start to run out of “extra” clothes they have. Telling those parent is always strenuous. “OH these? Yeah they fit him, you’re just doing it wrong.” Yes. I’m putting clothes on wrong, totally.

6.     If you’re not alone and have co-workers in the same room, dealing with their criticism can be difficult

7.     Especially if they flaunt their degrees in people’s faces and hate them.

8.     Accidents happen. All the time.

9.     So you’ll get used to pee on the floor, poop on your hands, ect.

10.  Little kids will eat everything.

11.  Rocks? Yep. Boogers? Of course. Food that’s on the floor, covered in dirt? A gourmet meal.

12.  You have to go through food safety classes in order to work somewhere where they’ll eat the food off of the floor no matter what.

13.  Since they eat a variety of foods, they’ll end up everywhere.

14.  Hair? Definitely. Clothes? Well, duh. Shoes? Yeah, probably that, too.

15.  There’re some parents that teach their kid if you get anything on your clothes to change it. These are the impossible kids.

16.  Then there’s the parents that don’t care if their kid looks like a meatball. These are impossible kids as well.

17.  You’ll more than likely receive critical complaints that you’re interrupting such and suches child’s life since you came there.

18.  This parent’s child will also more than likely be the friendliest one.

19.  Children will often call you by the wrong name—on purpose. They’ll also address every parent by their name promptly—whether said parent enjoys this or not.

20.  Crying is a major thing that happens. All the time.

21.  “NOBODY WILL PLAY WITH ME—NO I DIDN’T ASK, BUT THEY JUST WON’T,” tears. “SHE PINCHED ME,” bawling. “MY FOOD FELL ON THE FLOOR,” river of tears.

22.  There will be children that will talk very quietly, saying a bunch of nonsense. You’ll think it’s something important, and then they’ll cry about it.

23.  If you don’t like changing diapers, oh well, you’ll get used to it.

24.  You’ll also get used to kids jumping off the toilet, bending over and screaming “I NEED YOU TO WIPE ME.”

25.  If you take a picture of one of a couple of children, prepare for a flock asking for their picture.

26.  In order to keep a child’s hair out of their face, you MUST tell them that you’re giving them Elsa/Anna/Cinderella hair in order for this to happen.

27.  If you fix one’s hair, all little girls will flock around, too.

28.  Not stereotyping either, because if you’re a female with longer hair, prepare for little boys to flock around you to fix YOUR hair. Making you a “princess.”

29.  You’ll get the demand “hold me!” so many times you won’t even be able to count

30.  You may or may not know the parent, and if you do, it might get awkward.

31.  Seeing them in public could be awkward and/or a blessing as well.

32.  If one child is sick, prepare for them all to get sick.

33.  Prepare yourself, too. It’s a breeding ground.

34.  Get prepared for every single type of song-on repeat- every single day. Christmas in July? Definitely a thing. Halloween at Christmas? Of course. Kidz Bop? Everyday.

35. You’ll get hugs, hate glares, etc every single day from different children each day. At the end of the day, however, you’ll count every single one of them as a blessing and get very sad when they leave/you leave.

Why Group Projects Should Die In College

Remind me again why I hate group projects? Maybe it’s because I’m currently sitting in my living room bawling my eyes out because I can’t handle my life. 

Group projects are a bitch, we all know it. In college, you may or may not have to do as many group projects as you did in high school. Apparently I luckily picked the major that always has group projects. Ever since I started my actual classes last semester, we’ve had a group project in each of our classes. I thought last semester was bad, however, this semester is a lot more detailed in our projects, and it’s kind of hell. We have an entire class dedicated to research and a 20 page paper to go with it. I didn’t think it would be that bad because it’s broken up into parts. Boy was I wrong. 

Everything started out fine. I actually switched groups because I thought it would be better to actually be in a group with someone that I knew instead of strangers (because that went REALLY well the last time-see "Why I Hate Group Projects") and figured it would go a lot smoother. Group projects ruin friendships, though. I’m in a group in one of my classes with 5 people in each, and one of the girls is the same in two of my groups. It’s kind of enjoyable, but it would have been nice had I known about this project being due tomorrow morning not at 11 PM the night before. 

I went to set an alarm on my phone and got a bitchy ass text about something that was “oh yeah, you’re supposed to have this done, oh and did you forget about this too?” Lol. I actually remembered the second thing that she was really bitchy about, but I didn’t know that our revisions on our paper were due at the same time. Nobody told me this today. I talked to TWO of my group members for my research today, and neither of them said a thing. I get at text from the person i’m most friends with in the group saying that she’s sorry, but she didn’t realize she had two different conversations. 

One with me in it and one to talk shit on me in it.

Basically, life is just a bundle of greatness right now, and I can’t handle it. I’m being bitched at over a GoogleDoc Chat over something that I cannot handle. Yeah, it’s partially lack of organization on my part, but at the same time it would’ve been nice to have a friendly reminder just like all the rest of them. I took my advice from my teacher and started doing what she had told me, and I got criticized for it by this girl saying that it wasn’t what I was supposed to do, and I’ve already done enough irrelevant stuff.  It’s a great feeling, let me tell you. FUCKING GREAT. 

I shouldn’t be sitting in my living room bawling over something that I cannot handle. Something that I would’ve gotten done had I got the chance to. Instead, I start adding to the research at 11 PM, having a panic attack over it, only to get told that what I’ve done was “irrelevant” and I don’t need to do anything else. I even politely offered to print it out so they didn’t have to wait up for me.  Instead, the same girl that criticized me right after this happened, told me that she needed to proof read it beforehand to make sure I didn’t make any mistakes before it gets printed out. 

lol. Bye at my life. I can’t miss anymore classes (well I can, but i’m not taking any chances anymore) and I have to go to that class tomorrow. lol at me crying in class because i thought I was actually making friends, instead they have their own group chat to talk shit on me. Apparently I'm that shitty of a person, and I can never have friends. 

FINALLY OUT OF HELL.

I don’t think anyone knows how overjoyed I am to say that I FINALLY moved. I signed sublet papers this morning, everything is official, and I’m FINALLY out of hell. My roommates, ever since we discussed moving out, have been complete and utter bitches. The snow hindered our Saturday move-out processes, so we had to stop flat in the middle of them. Instead of being courteous and having her friends park on the street, my roommate decided it’d be a good idea to have her friends park right behind me in the driveway. She knew what she was doing bc she walked straight through the door. When I had to leave the girl goes “Oh that’s me!” giggles, and then leaves completely. Obviously this pissed me off.  

I didn’t finish moving everything (because my boyfriend is the main mover of things, I don’t have manpower and have class—he does too, but chooses not to go? idek.) and whenever that happened, I got bitched at for “not getting my things.” Lol hokayyyy, because how am I supposed to get my things whenever I did come to get them, someone on the street was having  party (aka, no street parking) and one of my roommates boyfriend’s was parked in the driveway and the others friends, along with two of my roommates.  It pissed me off because it was 11 PM, and this is what is going on in my life when I have to go and sign sublet papers at 9 AM. Basically, I stated that there was no other way but to just wait until I had already given my keys over. 

BUT THAT IS BESIDE THE POINT. Not everything is moved out, and my boyfriends subletter isn’t finalized (so that adds a little bit of stress to the pot) BUT I AM STILL SO EXCITED TO BE IN MY OWN PLACE. We last minute found a place since there were several people that seemed to be wanting us to move in, and then didn’t (one including my relative, so it was fuckin great.) Finally, on that Friday whenever my relative told me she didn’t have a place for us anymore because her friend “e-mailed her in the last 3 minutes, etc.” We drove out to try and find places. We found a house, called the number, and it ended up being 5 bedrooms (aka not necessary) and they informed us they had a two bedroom available ASAP.

I had to clean a bit and I’m STILL not done (it’s only been since Saturday, don’t judge.) but I can FINALLY say that I am out of hell, and my hair has fallen out significantly less since we’ve signed lease papers.